If you're looking for love, it's normal to have fantasies.
When it comes to dating and marriage in the JW faith, all parties have fantasies, including the organization. Only the strong remain grounded in the truth.
You will learn how the organization interferes with dating and marriage.
The organization and the beliefs of JW's about the organization, makes it almost impossible to create a happy, loving, and lasting relationship with a JW if you're an outsider with no plans of changing your religion.
The organization believes Jesus appointed them as his 'faithful and discreet slave' in these final days before armageddon. As God's appointed representative, they get to decide what is best for 'God's people'. Matthew 24:45-51 Hence they've set up judicial committees to enforce God's laws based on their interpretation of the Bible.
Why is this a fantasy? Because it's not based on truth. The identity of the faithful slave is unknown. Also Jesus clearly told his followers NOT to judge. Christians have a direct relationship with God symbolized by baptism. A Christian's symbol for salvation is Jesus, - never a religious organization. Matthew 7:1; Luke 6:37; Matthew 28:18,19; 1 John 5:11; Jude 1:21; John 17:3
The organization has very strict dating and marriage rules that must be followed within their faith. Those who break the rules face required judicial committee meetings comprised of Elders. If found guilty and/or non-repentant, JW's fear disfellowshipping, disassociation, and being shunned by everyone they hold dear, including family.
To understand how disfellowshipping impacts the lives of JW's see Disfellowshipping
JW's believe that rebellion against the organization is the path of Satan, who also rebelled against God. JW's believe that if they disobey the organization, they are rebelling against God. The wisdom of the Watchtower is thought to be wisdom of God.
Even if they leave to be with you, their mind will still belong to the Watchtower unless they get lots of professional help. Most are not willing to do that because they don't see any value in 'worldly wisdom', - i.e. everyone outside the Watchtower religion. They believe that the world is dominated by Satan and he is constantly tempting them to leave the teachings of the WT. The only source of truth for JW's is JW.ORG.
We've spoken with JW's who've been out of the organization for 35 years and are still thinking about going back. They are filled with guilt for leaving 'the truth' or 'God's organization'. The only ones who recover from their experience are those who thoroughly research the Watchtower from independent sources and those who seek help with religious deprogramming.
When it comes to dating, some JW's do the right and honorable thing. They date dedicated, baptized JW's or they don't date at all. Others are too weak and become impatient. They begin to look outside of the organization for a mate. Here is their fantasy.
They know that dating an outsider will be unpopular and they will receive much criticism. However they are willing to test the limits of the organization to find a mate. They believe if someone really loves them, they will leave their religion and become a JW.
If this happens, they will have the life partner of their dreams. Their friends will love them once again for successfully recruiting an outsider and saving a precious life from Satan's doomed world. Plus by becoming a JW, their new mate proves their love and loyalty beyond any doubt. In their mind, the risk is worth every penny.
They took a big risk and won. Everyone respects them for their courage. Everyone loves them even more than they did before. Their new husband or wife, loves being a JW, and is forever grateful for being introduced to 'the truth'. (See Mind Control)
Their wedding was filled with love and joy. Now as a couple, they serve Jehovah together. This JW who was once criticized for dating outside of the organization is now a role model for all single JW's in their local congregations. As in all fairy tales, everyone lives happily forever and ever.
Some outsiders are attracted by the strict moral values of Jehovah's Witnesses. And because of that they wrongly assume that a JW can become a good partner. Men especially are attracted to JW women who are trained to be submissive and loyal. See Equality
They are aware it won't be easy, but they are willing to take a chance. They believe it can work and religion doesn't matter if two people really love one another. This is a fantasy.
Most outsiders have no intentions of being baptized into the JW faith just so they can date someone or perhaps marry them. Some are just thinking about dating a JW because there is an attraction.
If you decide to date a JW, you are in for a huge learning experience you'll never forget. If you don't have a problem with emotional pain and heart ache, go ahead and date a JW. Otherwise stay away from JW's no matter how hot you are for someone.
For some, our advice is too late. They are already in love. Relationships can end when this happens.
If you are an outsider and a JW is pressuring you into studying with them and joining their faith so you can marry them, the odds are high that they've never had any intentions of leaving their religion. You've been set up from the very beginning. They're expecting you to become a JW, or the deal is off.
If a JW is serious about marrying you just the way you are, - without trying to change you and make you into something you are not, they would have already left the organization. Even then, dating is a risk. Recovery from their experience as a JW can take years, - even decades. Some never fully recover. Some end up going back to the organization.
If you want to be a JW, do it first. Get baptized. Then begin looking for someone to date, - only if you want to get married. Always date a baptized JW who has the same beliefs and values you have.
If you don't want to be a JW, never date a JW and don't be pressured or manipulated into joining.
Be cautious about dating a JW who is disfellowshipped or someone who might consider being a JW some day. Many relationships are ruined when their partner decides to go back to the Jehovah's Witnesses or join them for the first time.