Leaving The Watchtower.
When I discovered the truth about the Watchtower's false teachings I was embarrassed to be associated with the organization. I stopped going to meetings, door to door, reading Watchtower magazines, etc. I literally disassociated myself from all Jehovah's Witnesses because I could no longer pretend to be a believer. I'm not good at being a hypocrite. However even though I left the organization I was officially still a Jehovah's Witness for several months before being disfellowshipped.
This made things a bit easier for me I think because by the time I was formally disfellowshipped, I already had a support network of friends outside of the organization.
Judicial Committee Meetings.
I was in no rush to be disfellowshipped. In fact I was kind of indifferent. Part of me didn't want to get disfellowshipped because I knew it would be uncomfortable running into Jehovah's Witnesses who wouldn't say 'hi' to me. But the other part of me knew I was no longer a Jehovah's Witness anyway and I had no intentions of ever going back. Once you know the truth, you can't go back. So I didn't really care either way if I got disfellowshipped or not.
So what did I do? I played with the judicial committee of Jehovah's Witnesses for a few months because it was a fun thing to do. The entire concept of a 'judicial committee' to judge people on behalf of God seemed crazy to me and I wanted to study how the Watchtower teaches elders to do their job. I was amazed at how unqualified the elders were to judge my guilt or innocence. It became obvious that God was not helping the elders decide if they should disfellowship me or not. This was added confirmation that I was on the right track.
I enjoyed observing the elders fumble around trying to figure out what to do with me. It was intriguing to watch a process that Jehovah's Witnesses are never exposed to unless they decide to leave.
Judicial meetings never frightened me, because I wanted to be free from the Watchtower organization as much as I wanted to breathe. I enjoyed playing the game. I was an 'outsider', but I played the part of being a good little Jehovah's Witness to see what the elders would do. I dragged out the disfellowshipping process as long as possible.
For me judicial meetings were fun, entertaining, and educational, although after a few of them it was getting very old. I didn't feel they had a right to pry into my personal affairs. After all if God is on their side like they claim, they would obviously know what he knows. The truth is that they don't. The elders do their job based on secret organizational guidelines. God doesn't tell them who needs to be disfellowshipped. In fact God would never endorse and recommend the practice of disfellowshipping. Why not? See disfellowshipping
Disfellowshipping and Leaving The Watchtower.