Be careful how you talk with Jehovah's Witnesses and your tone of voice. Examine your motives. Why are you trying to convert JW's to your beliefs? Are you trying to help them out of love? Or are you trying to prove them wrong just because you believe you are right and they are not?
If you have genuine concern for the welfare of others, you are communicating a powerful message.
Remember most of our communication is done with body language and tone of voice. Only about 7% of communication is the words we use. So don't be too concerned about what you say. Be more concerned about your motivation for converting JW's. What's in your heart?
If you're coming from love and a good heart, your body language and tone of voice will automatically reflect your genuine concern for their welfare.
You can use this web site as a guide to help relatives or strangers who are Jehovah's Witnesses, however be cautious about helping JW's leave unless you know for a fact that it will benefit them. We tell you why in this article.
When you read the articles on this site, look for information that they are probably not aware of. Try to expose them to this information by asking thoughtful questions. Keep it simple. Ask only one question at a time. Instead of going into details, ask them to research the correct answer and get back to you.
If you ask them with a light hearted, innocent, and curious mind, you might be able plant seeds of doubt in their mind. Never argue or ask questions as if you already have the answer and are not willing to listen to what they have to say.
Remember they're trying to convert you to their religion! If they see there's no chance of that and you're trying to weaken their faith, you're wasting your time. The more you disagree, the more 'hated' Jehovah's Witnesses feel. This makes their faith stronger and convinces them they have the truth.
They believe Jehovah's Witnesses are hated because they are God's organization and no part of this world. When people get angry or disagree, they feel they are being tested by Satan. They feel persecuted because they are standing up for 'the truth'. By remaining faithful to the organization, they believe they are resisting the Devil.
They believe you're either a JW and on God's side, or a 'worldly person'. Jehovah's Witnesses are isolated from 'the world' because they believe it is dominated by Satan and his evil spirits.
The reason why zealous Jehovah's Witnesses reach out to worldly persons is to bring them into the safety of their religion before the end of the world comes and all the wicked are destroyed by Jehovah. In this way they believe they are loving worldly people without being part of the world.
One of the best techniques for creating doubt is this.
Tell them you're interested 'in the truth' and attracted to the Jehovah's Witnesses because they have such high standards, or they're so friendly, or whatever you can honestly say, ... Do not get involved in a Bible study with them. They will quickly get discouraged when they see you're not making any progress every time they meet with you. Instead of long conversations, try to limit your time with them.
Simply imply you're a busy person but would like to know more. Tell them you've been doing your research. Ask them to read one of the books by Raymond Franz or other authors and prove to you why the information is not true. Or copy an article from the internet and ask them to comment on it the next time they see you.
Ask them if they have an email and internet access. If they do, get their email address. Then every week or so, send them a link about a topic that JW's may not be familiar with. Ask for them to take a look and comment on the information.
Keep doing this over and over again as if you're interested in their faith. Ask them to tell you the truth about the information you give them. Always give them at least a week to get back to you. Don't let them give you a quick answer off the cuff, without looking at the information or without seriously thinking about it.
JW's are very good at deflecting your objections with generalizations such as, 'Oh that was written by an apostate. They're very angry, bitter, and have an axe to grind with the organization. You can't trust what they have to say. They twist everything we say to make us look bad but we aren't. We're the best people on the planet. We are God's organization. Everyone hates us because we have the truth'. ... yada, yada, etc.
Don't accept these kind of answers. They talk like this because they don't want to accept anything former members say whether it's true or not. They only want you accept what their Governing Body tells them is 'the truth'.
Unity of beliefs and speaking in agreement is far more important than whether doctrines are truthful or not. The fact that millions of Jehovah's Witnesses publicly agree with absolutely everything, is convincing evidence that they must have 'the truth'.
They are not open to the idea that unity of beliefs might prove something else. Critics say the reason why no one disagrees is because their minds are being controlled. This is a possibility because even Jehovah's Witnesses have told us that 100% agreement is not normal behavior in any religion.
Say things like, 'Are you saying that every single person who leaves your church is angry with you? Why is that? Why are they so mad when they leave? What did you do to them that they're so angry? ... Are you saying that everyone who leaves your religion is a liar? Is there absolutely no truth in what they have to say? ... Why should I trust what you have to say, if all your friends who leave are liars? ... I thought Jehovah's Witnesses are 100% honest people. How could every single one of them become dishonest overnight???, ... They must have been dishonest before they left, - that would make more sense. ...'
If they continue to attack 'apostates' who leave the organization you can say things to make them think. Let them know in a nice way that you do not accept what they have to say about JWs who leave. Here's more ideas on how you could can respond when they're not willing to consider opposing viewpoints.
You could say, 'I've always believed Jehovah's Witnesses are honest. Now I'm starting to doubt that. You're telling me that all apostates are liars and every single one of them who disagrees is angry at the organization. I don't understand that. What did you do to these poor people that they're all angry? ... Why do they become liars the moment they leave? ... Maybe I was wrong about Jehovah's Witnesses. Maybe the ones who leave are telling me the truth and you're trying to deceive me. Or maybe all JW's are liars and I was wrong about how honest they are. ... How do I know who's telling me the truth? ... Maybe I should join another religion where people leave quietly and respectfully. There must be something terribly wrong with your religion if so many people are angry when they leave, ... that's just not normal. ... If so many people are angry, they must have good reasons, ... I wonder what those reasons are, ... ' Keep following this line of reasoning.
After all that, if they still insist that apostates are misrepresenting and twisting 'the truth', ask them why apostates give people factual evidence and JW's do not. Why do JW's bash apostates, instead of weighing the evidence for themselves? See An Apostate Strategy
Once they realize you're not going to buy their explanation about apostates and they stop talking like this, tell them you will accept all factual evidence that Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth. Ask them to give you proof that 'apostates' aren't telling the truth after they've thoroughly researched the subject like you did.
Tell them you're very 'detail oriented' or analytical and need facts to make an important decision such as changing your religion. Tell them it's good you're so thorough in your research, because once you're convinced about the truth, no one will be able to shake your faith, ... etc. Be creative. Give them good reasons to spend lots of time researching your questions with the intent of giving you truthful answers based on facts.
If they get back with you right away, tell them to take their time. Remind them that facts and solid proof is important to you. Tell them you believe Jehovah's Witnesses are honest. And you can't accept the idea that all apostates turn into liars when they leave. Either apostates are lying. Or JW's are lying. Or everyone is dishonest. You don't know who to trust. Tell them you want them to thoroughly research what you've found, because you don't want to have any doubt in your mind that JWs have the truth.
After a week or so when they get back with the answers, bite your tongue. Do not disagree with them. Accept whatever answer they give you as 'the truth', even if it isn't. This is the hard part. You know they're wrong, but telling them that will only end your relationship with them.
Instead of disagreeing, simply thank them so much for doing so much research on your behalf. Tell them that the more time they spend researching answers to your questions, the more convinced you are they have 'the truth'. Then give them another question. Repeat the process over and over again week after week.
Eventually, some Jehovah's Witnesses with a conscience, will not be able to call on you any more and tell you they have 'the truth'. Instead their faith will be shattered and they'll go through a process of withdrawing for a few weeks or months, where they seriously start questioning their beliefs.
They may for example, stop reading Watchtower literature and start read the Bible by itself for the first time in their life.
The process of actually leaving their religion, can be immediate or it can take years. Why? Because when they leave, they are giving up their families and closest friends. They will be publicly humiliated and excommunicated. Everyone who's important in their life will shun them and pretend they don't exist (with some exceptions). Some are not prepared to deal with the reality of leaving. Some are willing to live with serious doubts in order to keep the relationships they've built over a period of decades.
The process of converting Jehovah's Witnesses and creating doubt can take weeks, months, years, or a lifetime. You will not be able to convince all JW's to leave for the reasons I've given you. You'll need a lot of patience. Be positive and optimistic but don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go your way.
Here's the way we look at it. If someone is happy with their religion, and their beliefs aren't hurting anyone, why not leave them alone?
Remember the Jehovah's Witnesses are totally separate from the world. They don't vote, they don't celebrate holidays, their beliefs are radically different, and except for necessary contact with outsiders, they are completely isolated from society.
Our ministry is to help unhappy Jehovah's Witnesses, and those who choose to leave. Also many Jehovah's Witnesses joined because their parents raised them in that religion and told them it was the truth from the day they were born. If these people decide to leave when they grow up, or later in life as adults, the loss of family, friends, religion, God, way of life, etc., can be devastating. They need our love and encouragement.
People choose religions based on what they're comfortable with. The JW faith may be perfect for some people. They may not be happy anywhere else.