If you want the truth, look at the new perspectives on this site and others with an open mind. Then read an unbiased Bible translation without referencing Watchtower literature and draw your own conclusions.
Of course while doing your research, always ask God for wisdom and understanding. God answers prayer and gives us much more than we ask for when we are coming from a place of love. Let God communicate with you directly. Do not put your faith in man (even if they claim to be God's channel of communication).
Idolizing humans is not allowed in your faith. Put God first, - not the rules of Elders and the Governing Body. God loves you. He is all powerful and able to communicate directly to all who reach out to him.
There is no need to bow down to men as if they are the only ones who have direct channel to God. They put their pants on the same way you do.
Ask God questions. Then listen carefully. In the silence between your thoughts, you will hear the answers.